“I’m Married, But My Ex-Girlfriend Won’t Leave Me Alone!”

I’ve been reading your links on Hello Beautiful for a while and I have something for you to write about.

I am a 30-year old black male. I am happily and recently married, going on three weeks. Just this weekend my ex from many years ago hit me up on a text asking about the wedding, since she wasn’t invited. I told her it was good, and she goes into her (bipolar, I’m the victim, drama mode). She claims she is happy for me, but she’s hurt and that the thought of it makes her sick. I’m wondering to myself, ‘Why is she telling me this?’ I dated this girl years ago when I was young and had just finish school and was going into college. Our relationship lasted three good years after we both went to different colleges and we had almost five bad years of constant cheating, disrespecting, and nothing but problems. I will admit, it wasn’t all her fault but as I got older, I got tired of the mess and drama that came along with this girl. I cut her loose, and went about my life and two years ago I met the woman of my dreams who I have made my wife.

Now, my ex has reappeared, like a seasonal plague. She contacts me out of the blue, trying to be friendly and slither her way back into my life, just like a snake. And, with her comes drama, arguments, and she constantly brings up the past as if it will make me forget about all the drama that she brought upon me in the last three years.

This weekend was no different. After she contacted me, instead of being a rude person, I try to be nice to her just for the purpose of I don’t want to have another ex hating me. But, this girl is really pushing it. She claims now to be engaged, but you never really know with her because she will tell a lie in a heartbeat. She has told me twice already in the past that she was engaged but never married.

She then claims that until the day that she dies I will always be her first love and that she will never forget me and that is something I can’t take away. I asked her was that suppose to be special or something I hold with me? I have let everything go and I am moving on and happily married.

Everything about this girl makes me sick. We have too much of a bad past to move on as friends, and I just want her to leave me alone. I later texted her back and told her not to text or call me again, and that I am happily married. In response, she replied with her usual hood-rat manner by cursing me out and saying no one wants me. It was funny, but I know it won’t be the last time I hear from her. This has been going on for years, and I feel now that I am married it’s just going to make her continue with the drama, games and problems. I could cuss her out, but I have gotten older, and at the age of 30, I don’t want to go back to acting like a 22-year old again.

Me, and this girl had a past, one that would make good for a book or movie. She is the girl that sees everything wrong with the next person, but don’t see the problems in her own life. She is straight bi-polar and I made sure I told her to get herself checked out. I mean how can someone be happy for you, but causes hurt to the point it makes you sick? Why are black women so blind when it comes to a good man? At one point, years ago, I wanted to work it out with this girl, but after seeing she has very whorish ways, I stopped caring and moved on.

The last straw came three years ago when she called me out of the blue to give me her new phone number and start a conversation with me. At the time, I was thinking about her and wanted to see where this would go. She asked was I still in town and that she wanted to hangout sometime. I told her where I was and then asked where she was staying. I admit I know I was wrong, because I already knew where she was staying and never once went by her house or called her. She claims that she had just brought a house in the rich part of town and had just moved in. Now while she was telling me this I am at my cousin apartment sitting outside and watching her pull into her apartment. I went along with the story, but decided not to call her out and not start back messing with her. Well, she continued to call me every week, bragging about her house and everything. With every call she always has a new story to tell. Then one day, I got tired of it. She called and told me she was at home outside in her back yard talking to her next door neighbor. I just shook my head when she told me that and quickly made up an excuse to get off the phone. An hour later I called her back and asked are we friends, she responded with a yes. Then I asked, ‘Why do you feel the need to always lie to me?’ She said lie about what. I could tell from her voice she was getting mad. I told her I knew where she stayed and that I don’t know why she had to call me and tell me a lie like that. She responded with she didn’t want me to know because she didn’t want any trouble from me. So, I am like well if you feel threatened by me then why call and give me your number. Why lie to me? When I asked that, she cursed me out and hung up the phone.

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